It is a day of labour today. I woke up, bathed Alyssa, fed her and started my activities. Actually, just one activity - the washing of her clothes. Not that I've never washed her clothes before, just that today I washed her cute little rocking chair too (not the entire rocking chair, just the seat but that's enough). She's been puking on the chair so it's really time to clean it. The rocking chair is sort of my saviour. It has helped to put Alyssa to sleep many times when she simply refuse to sleep, especially at night. She loves the rocking chair. She could be wailing away as if I've robbed her of her milk but she would stop crying once I put her on the chair and rock her. Maybe the rocking chair makes her feel as if she's the womb floating around, thanks to the rocking action (this is my theory as to why she likes the chair). Anyway, whatever the possibility may be, the chair works. It's my miracle chair. After all the washing, I had to keep those dry clothes and feed her again (she's like a bottomless pit) and she wasn't a very happy baby after the feeding and was screaming her head off. I think maybe she wants to go out again.
I brought her out yesterday with my sister, TFG, to meet my ex-colleagues for lunch. I had to bribe my sister with lunch and ice cream before she would agree to come out with me. Anyway, a little on my ex-colleagues. Nicholas left my company half a year ago and is working overseas now selling coffee (not really selling coffee but whatever he does lead to coffee being sold). He's back to Singapore for Christmas and has headed back to wherever today (I think he's reached wherever already). Haz left a couple of months after Nicholas and has been extremely busy ever since so I hardly met up with her after she left as well (ok, I was part of the reason why we couldn't meet up. I didn't have a pram to bring Alyssa along. LOL). It was nice to see the both of them, until it was time to feed Alyssa. Don't be mistaken peeps, they didn't stop me from feeding Alyssa. It was just that Plaza Singapura isn't that baby-friendly. There was only one nursing room in the entire building and each time I need to feed Alyssa, I had to wait for at least 15 mins for the mum and baby before me to finish feeding or whatever they were doing before I could use the nursing room. It's ok if there weren't any crying baby but the fact was that, there was. The baby was screaming the nursing room down the whole time I was waiting and the crying really got my hair standing. What's amazing is the mum only told the baby one time to stop crying (how calm can she be). I would have scrambled to go home if Alyssa was crying like that. Anyway, in addition to the fact there was only one nursing room, they didn't state where the nursing room was on the directory. Haz and I had to ask a couple of ladies who work there where the nursing room was, got the wrong directions and had to finally approach a cleaner to get the right directions. Now, luckily I had Haz with me and she was helping me with my bag and I had left the pram at the restaurant with Nicholas and my sister. Can you imagine what would happen if I was alone? I would have probably gone mad and resorted to feeding her in my car instead.
Other than that, Alyssa's been a darling, well, most of the time at least. I reckon she loves crowd, the different sights, sounds and smell. She didn't cry a bit when we pushed her around in the orange pram of hers, obviously enjoying the ride. One could tell that she's a curious girl as she looked around in wonder. I think she enjoys the Dior counter the most. It was amazing how she sat through my makeover at the counter without crying. Usually she hates being left alone. She loves attention and would want people to carry her around. I feel bad though, the makeover really took quite a while and Haz, Nicholas and TFG had to stand around and wait for me to finish the makeover. Also, we only managed to go to the Dior counter at centrepoint and didn't do much shopping (oh no, now that I think about it, did Nicholas say he needed to do some shopping too? =X). We probably would have been able to make it further if not for the baby-unfriendliness of Plaza Singapura and I could have gotten a couple pairs of mittens for Alyssa too.
Overall, I realise how difficult it is for me to go out alone with Alyssa. Luckily I had TFG with me, otherwise I wouldn't be able to cope at all. I'm wondering whether to get a carrier so it's easier for me to handle Alyssa when we go out. I also need to consider going to more baby-friendly places the next time.
Shall see how it goes the next time we go on a shopping trip.
Note for mums:
Baby vomitting (from Babycentre)
According to Babycentre, most babies vomit small amounts from time to time and may also bring up small amounts of milk when they burp. This is known as posseting and is usually nothing to worry about. More frequent vomiting or vomiting large quantities, may be due to gastric reflux.
The stomach lies just under a muscle called the diaphragm and both the diaphragm and the oesophagus act together to keep stomach contents in the stomach. This system sometimes doesn't work too well in young babies and the stomach contents can come back up the gullet, including some of the acid from the stomach.
Don't worry about that too much. There are various ways to help the baby, e.g. change position of the baby during feeding.
Not sleeping at night
This is a common problem but with a long list of suggestions. I shall address this in detail some other time.
28.12.08
I need more luck!!! (More money will do too)
Damn it!!! It was a night of great loss last night. After an unsatisfactory dinner with Desmond's friends that cost approximately 47 bucks per person after a 10% discount with for Amex cardholders at Carnivore Brazilian Churrascaria (it was unsatisfactory due to what I think is the lack of good red wine and the presence of a baby who wouldn't stop crying unless I carry her and walk around), we went on to Andrew's place for mahjong. Now, we are talking about hard core gamblers here. Desmond told me they love going for big stakes when playing mahjong, otherwise they find it a waste of their time (big stakes = 1 tai = 2 bucks, 2 tai = 4, 3 tai = 8, you know the arithmetic progression goes on, cat and mouse = 5 bucks etc. There are too many things in mahjong for me to list them out). Can you imagine? Mahjong is a waste of their time if stakes are too small (small means anything smaller than the big stakes.) -_-"
For the first round, Desmond was the representative for the both of us and since then, luck hadn't been with us. A loss of approximately 50 bucks had already been reported after the first 2 ports. It got even worse after I took over him (it wasn't because I was a lousy player, I swear! Read on to find out.) It was because his dear friend Gilbert did a SEVEN tai, zi mo (how friendly was that). Can you imagine??!! SEVEN tai! I sat down, barely played a game and had to hand him 80 bucks. I think everyone at the table nearly fainted when he gamed (I for one nearly fainted, luckily I had a heart slightly stronger than weak and managed to escape a heart attack). After that I had a few games but that wasn't even enough to cover any loss. At the end of the first round we had lost about 160 bucks. Then little Alyssa starting crying and in a bid to be a caring mother, I handed over to Desmond and the loss continued to escalate to 300 bucks at the end of the night. That is so sad. :( Needless to say, the big winner of the night was Gilbert.
Speaking of Alyssa crying. I wish she can start talking so she would tell me what's wrong instead of crying. What makes her think I'll understand what she's trying to convey simply by crying? That's not even an internationally recognised language. Unfortunately, she's not going to be talking to me anytime soon. According to Nicholas (my ex-colleague) and his wife who visited yesterday, Alyssa most probably wouldn't start talking until she is about 1 year old. Damn, that means another 10 more months of her crying. No fret though, I shall try out the guide at www.greatdad.com to help her develop her speech ability (don't ask me what I'm doing at a site meant for dads). Maybe I could get her talking sooner than 1 yr old. Or maybe I could teach her some sign-language (babyspeaking.com) but that may not be a good idea since Alyssa moves excessively and may be hard to actually attribute any intentions to her movement. Part of me is hopeful that she will start speaking soon because she has already started cooing a bit. According to a speech therapist-to-be (who is my brother's girlfriend's friend), blabbering leads to language formation, so that is some good sign for me, right? Anyway, before all that happens, I need to cope with her crying first.
Coping with a baby's crying isn't an easy task because you don't know what they really want. First things first, you try to feed her when she cries which is a dangerous thing to do if baby is formula fed. Desmond's colleague's baby became obese because her mum feeds her everytime she cries and now the baby looks like a mini sumo wrestler. Then you try to change her diapers (terrible if you find nothing on her diaper). Next is followed by carrying but even that doesn't happen sometimes. And we have the rocking chair, pacifier and the list goes on. So what happens if she still doesn't stop crying? I would really love to try let her cry it off. According to my friend Patrick, you'll need to let the baby cry it off one time. This is to let the baby learn that crying doesn't really get her anything so she wouldn't use crying as a means to get whatever she wants. Unfortunately, I'm unable to try that out because I live with my parents-in-law and trust me, there's a queue of people willing to carry Alyssa when she cries. So now I can only watch her turn into an incorrigible spoilt brat who cries to get whatever she wants. This is a real problem when I bring Alyssa out because it will mean I have to deal with her unstoppable cries when we are out as well. Sigh.
Luckily babies sleep but it will be better if I have slightly more luck than that.
For the first round, Desmond was the representative for the both of us and since then, luck hadn't been with us. A loss of approximately 50 bucks had already been reported after the first 2 ports. It got even worse after I took over him (it wasn't because I was a lousy player, I swear! Read on to find out.) It was because his dear friend Gilbert did a SEVEN tai, zi mo (how friendly was that). Can you imagine??!! SEVEN tai! I sat down, barely played a game and had to hand him 80 bucks. I think everyone at the table nearly fainted when he gamed (I for one nearly fainted, luckily I had a heart slightly stronger than weak and managed to escape a heart attack). After that I had a few games but that wasn't even enough to cover any loss. At the end of the first round we had lost about 160 bucks. Then little Alyssa starting crying and in a bid to be a caring mother, I handed over to Desmond and the loss continued to escalate to 300 bucks at the end of the night. That is so sad. :( Needless to say, the big winner of the night was Gilbert.
Speaking of Alyssa crying. I wish she can start talking so she would tell me what's wrong instead of crying. What makes her think I'll understand what she's trying to convey simply by crying? That's not even an internationally recognised language. Unfortunately, she's not going to be talking to me anytime soon. According to Nicholas (my ex-colleague) and his wife who visited yesterday, Alyssa most probably wouldn't start talking until she is about 1 year old. Damn, that means another 10 more months of her crying. No fret though, I shall try out the guide at www.greatdad.com to help her develop her speech ability (don't ask me what I'm doing at a site meant for dads). Maybe I could get her talking sooner than 1 yr old. Or maybe I could teach her some sign-language (babyspeaking.com) but that may not be a good idea since Alyssa moves excessively and may be hard to actually attribute any intentions to her movement. Part of me is hopeful that she will start speaking soon because she has already started cooing a bit. According to a speech therapist-to-be (who is my brother's girlfriend's friend), blabbering leads to language formation, so that is some good sign for me, right? Anyway, before all that happens, I need to cope with her crying first.
Coping with a baby's crying isn't an easy task because you don't know what they really want. First things first, you try to feed her when she cries which is a dangerous thing to do if baby is formula fed. Desmond's colleague's baby became obese because her mum feeds her everytime she cries and now the baby looks like a mini sumo wrestler. Then you try to change her diapers (terrible if you find nothing on her diaper). Next is followed by carrying but even that doesn't happen sometimes. And we have the rocking chair, pacifier and the list goes on. So what happens if she still doesn't stop crying? I would really love to try let her cry it off. According to my friend Patrick, you'll need to let the baby cry it off one time. This is to let the baby learn that crying doesn't really get her anything so she wouldn't use crying as a means to get whatever she wants. Unfortunately, I'm unable to try that out because I live with my parents-in-law and trust me, there's a queue of people willing to carry Alyssa when she cries. So now I can only watch her turn into an incorrigible spoilt brat who cries to get whatever she wants. This is a real problem when I bring Alyssa out because it will mean I have to deal with her unstoppable cries when we are out as well. Sigh.
Luckily babies sleep but it will be better if I have slightly more luck than that.
26.12.08
Best Present for X'mas - POO!!!
Ok, I'm a day late in wishing all peeps a Merry X'mas but that can't be helped. I was so busy yesterday. We had a mahjong session that ended late on X'mas eve where I was Santa Claus dispensing money and the next thing I knew when I woke up the next morning was that we have to rush to Desmond's grandma's place. It is apparently a tradition (for his parents) to be at his grandma's place on X'mas day and since little Alyssa and I are new to the family, we were expected to be there as well.
The visit started normal, we were told to help ourselves to the goodies they have prepared for X'mas (the crabs were HUGE and JUICY! Slurp!!!) and I even had half a glass of wine (I was very guilty about the wine though, since I'm breastfeeding and am really not supposed to consume any alcohol at all. Luckily nothing happened to Alyssa.) Excitement started when they decided to have a game of mahjong and I was part of it! Desmond sponsored the seed money and instructed me to be a not-too-generous Santa Claus, how good is that? :D
The game started really well, I had a game of 4 tai 'zi mou' which is enough money for me to lose for the rest of the game (the more tais you have when you complete the game, the more money you will win, and the same goes for 'zi mou' as well, which is to get the winning card on your own from the deck.) I had a couple of other small wins as well. I had some help of course. Desmond's brother Emmanuel makes quite a good mahjong adviser. It was a good arrangement until someone came and I had more than one adviser. It was Desmond's 'tua yi' ('tua yi' = big aunt = Desmond's mum's eldest sister)
She is the most classic of characters I've ever met. The second thing she did when she went into the room was to ask very loudly 'MARGARET, YOU WEAR HALF CUP IZZIT!' For a moment, I wondered if I was supposed to say 'no, it's just the breast shells' to the rest of the people at the mahjong desk. Then she started playing mahjong for me. She first loudly told me what cards to discard, then she went on to discard the cards for me without my consent. When we didn't heed her advice on the cards to discards, she made even more noise. When she wasn't dispensing advice on the cards to discard, she would be spewing vulgarities at her brother who was according to her, 'disturbing her'. I wasn't annoyed by her though her siblings were, but I wonder how anyone could be unaware of the effect she has on other people. I was glad nevertheless, when the game came to an end and we had to head to Desmond's friend's home for another X'mas gathering, after having the tua yi scream into my ears for almost half an hour or more.
The rest of X'mas was just, well, boring.
Until we went home and changed diapers for Alyssa. There is was, the best present Desmond and I received this X'mas: Alyssa's poo. She pooped!!! She didn't poop for the past one week and we were contemplating inserting the last glycine suppository to help her bowel today. Luckily she poop on her own and we didn't have to do the dirty work. We can also stop wondering for a moment if she is normal.
I went for a massage today with Desmond's mum. I received a mailer from Citibank where they have a promotion with Spa Infinity for Clear Platinum Card members - 33 bucks for a massage. My masseuse was nowhere near fantastic. She had strength for a hard massage, but it wasn't exactly comfortable. I think it's because her hands were too bony and it felt more like she was trying to poke me rather than massage me. Desmond's mum however, had quite a good masseuse who told her which areas of her were problematic and focused on helping her 'rectify' her problems. Damn, why didn't I have a masseuse like that? Furthermore, I was the one who paid for the massage. -_-" Nevertheless, I was tempted to get a package with Spa Infinity because they offer couple spa too. I thought I could go for massages with Desmond till I remembered that that husband of mine will most probably not appreciate such fine things of life and it will be a waste of my money to do so. I also came up with another plan: I could just go for massages only when I receive such promotions the next time. I could probably save more money this way than getting a package, and I get to try other spas as well, isn't this a great idea?!
I'm just getting smarter by the day :)
Note for mums:
wine: my Paediatrician actually told me to avoid alcohol if breastfeeding (for obvious reasons right, unless your baby cries too much at night and you want to knock your baby out with some alcohol). Alcohol, if added to food and well cooked is fine, but not when ingested directly. Of course, I disobeyed my Paediatrician but I don't think I'll try that again. It's really best to stick to this alcohol no-no advice to avoid any guilt you may face later on. If you really do have to drink, drink really slowly and take only half of the drink (that's my idea, not the Paediatrician's).
Breast shells: These breast shells saved my life! Mums-to-be, if intending to breastfeed, should get these breast shells. Breast shells keep the bras away from your boobs so that the bras will not stick to your boobs and aggravate the sore nipples. The only problem I faced initially with these breast shells was that it didn't ventilate very well (it wasn't the shell's fault, it was the bra because it was too thick) and water vapour from the skin tend to condense and collect in the shells, which makes the boobs a little soggy. So, other than the breast shells, get a nursing bra that ventilates well! (Definitely not the Moda bras from Mothercare, but I must admit they are very convenient bras to wear while nursing.) I'm using the Philips Avent breast shells now and they work fine. Each pack comes with a pair of breast shells (with holes for ventilation), a pair of breast shells without holes (to collect milk if you have too much dripping while feeding. Don't waste!), and a pad to be used with their pumps (Aren't they smart - get their breast shells, might as well get their breast pumps too!)
Baby didn't poop for the past week: The GP showed me a guide on the feeding and care of babies. It stated that it is NOT considered constipation even if the baby didn't poop for a week. That's just the way babies are - irregular bowel movement. This is fine for breastfed babies, in fact, it's a very common phenomenon (I've already heard of 2 babies who experienced this condition e.g. my aunt's grandson and Desmond's friend's newborn baby). The worst case of no-poo the paediatrician saw was a baby who didn't poop for 10 days!!! In such cases, the breastfed babies' poo will still be soft. They didn't poop simply because their bowel movements are too sluggish. However, if the baby is formula fed, more care should be given because there's possibility their poo gets too dry and hard and makes it very hard and painful for them to poop. Glycine suppository is normally given to help these babies. Duphalac will be given as well if these babies have hard poo. This is to soften their poo. Do give formula fed babies water, but that isn't really necessary for breastfed babies because breast milk is high in water content.
That's all the notes for today! :)
The visit started normal, we were told to help ourselves to the goodies they have prepared for X'mas (the crabs were HUGE and JUICY! Slurp!!!) and I even had half a glass of wine (I was very guilty about the wine though, since I'm breastfeeding and am really not supposed to consume any alcohol at all. Luckily nothing happened to Alyssa.) Excitement started when they decided to have a game of mahjong and I was part of it! Desmond sponsored the seed money and instructed me to be a not-too-generous Santa Claus, how good is that? :D
The game started really well, I had a game of 4 tai 'zi mou' which is enough money for me to lose for the rest of the game (the more tais you have when you complete the game, the more money you will win, and the same goes for 'zi mou' as well, which is to get the winning card on your own from the deck.) I had a couple of other small wins as well. I had some help of course. Desmond's brother Emmanuel makes quite a good mahjong adviser. It was a good arrangement until someone came and I had more than one adviser. It was Desmond's 'tua yi' ('tua yi' = big aunt = Desmond's mum's eldest sister)
She is the most classic of characters I've ever met. The second thing she did when she went into the room was to ask very loudly 'MARGARET, YOU WEAR HALF CUP IZZIT!' For a moment, I wondered if I was supposed to say 'no, it's just the breast shells' to the rest of the people at the mahjong desk. Then she started playing mahjong for me. She first loudly told me what cards to discard, then she went on to discard the cards for me without my consent. When we didn't heed her advice on the cards to discards, she made even more noise. When she wasn't dispensing advice on the cards to discard, she would be spewing vulgarities at her brother who was according to her, 'disturbing her'. I wasn't annoyed by her though her siblings were, but I wonder how anyone could be unaware of the effect she has on other people. I was glad nevertheless, when the game came to an end and we had to head to Desmond's friend's home for another X'mas gathering, after having the tua yi scream into my ears for almost half an hour or more.
The rest of X'mas was just, well, boring.
Until we went home and changed diapers for Alyssa. There is was, the best present Desmond and I received this X'mas: Alyssa's poo. She pooped!!! She didn't poop for the past one week and we were contemplating inserting the last glycine suppository to help her bowel today. Luckily she poop on her own and we didn't have to do the dirty work. We can also stop wondering for a moment if she is normal.
I went for a massage today with Desmond's mum. I received a mailer from Citibank where they have a promotion with Spa Infinity for Clear Platinum Card members - 33 bucks for a massage. My masseuse was nowhere near fantastic. She had strength for a hard massage, but it wasn't exactly comfortable. I think it's because her hands were too bony and it felt more like she was trying to poke me rather than massage me. Desmond's mum however, had quite a good masseuse who told her which areas of her were problematic and focused on helping her 'rectify' her problems. Damn, why didn't I have a masseuse like that? Furthermore, I was the one who paid for the massage. -_-" Nevertheless, I was tempted to get a package with Spa Infinity because they offer couple spa too. I thought I could go for massages with Desmond till I remembered that that husband of mine will most probably not appreciate such fine things of life and it will be a waste of my money to do so. I also came up with another plan: I could just go for massages only when I receive such promotions the next time. I could probably save more money this way than getting a package, and I get to try other spas as well, isn't this a great idea?!
I'm just getting smarter by the day :)
Note for mums:
wine: my Paediatrician actually told me to avoid alcohol if breastfeeding (for obvious reasons right, unless your baby cries too much at night and you want to knock your baby out with some alcohol). Alcohol, if added to food and well cooked is fine, but not when ingested directly. Of course, I disobeyed my Paediatrician but I don't think I'll try that again. It's really best to stick to this alcohol no-no advice to avoid any guilt you may face later on. If you really do have to drink, drink really slowly and take only half of the drink (that's my idea, not the Paediatrician's).
Breast shells: These breast shells saved my life! Mums-to-be, if intending to breastfeed, should get these breast shells. Breast shells keep the bras away from your boobs so that the bras will not stick to your boobs and aggravate the sore nipples. The only problem I faced initially with these breast shells was that it didn't ventilate very well (it wasn't the shell's fault, it was the bra because it was too thick) and water vapour from the skin tend to condense and collect in the shells, which makes the boobs a little soggy. So, other than the breast shells, get a nursing bra that ventilates well! (Definitely not the Moda bras from Mothercare, but I must admit they are very convenient bras to wear while nursing.) I'm using the Philips Avent breast shells now and they work fine. Each pack comes with a pair of breast shells (with holes for ventilation), a pair of breast shells without holes (to collect milk if you have too much dripping while feeding. Don't waste!), and a pad to be used with their pumps (Aren't they smart - get their breast shells, might as well get their breast pumps too!)
Baby didn't poop for the past week: The GP showed me a guide on the feeding and care of babies. It stated that it is NOT considered constipation even if the baby didn't poop for a week. That's just the way babies are - irregular bowel movement. This is fine for breastfed babies, in fact, it's a very common phenomenon (I've already heard of 2 babies who experienced this condition e.g. my aunt's grandson and Desmond's friend's newborn baby). The worst case of no-poo the paediatrician saw was a baby who didn't poop for 10 days!!! In such cases, the breastfed babies' poo will still be soft. They didn't poop simply because their bowel movements are too sluggish. However, if the baby is formula fed, more care should be given because there's possibility their poo gets too dry and hard and makes it very hard and painful for them to poop. Glycine suppository is normally given to help these babies. Duphalac will be given as well if these babies have hard poo. This is to soften their poo. Do give formula fed babies water, but that isn't really necessary for breastfed babies because breast milk is high in water content.
That's all the notes for today! :)
23.12.08
Damn, my first post and it has to be about insurance (Part I)
I finally started a blog. I have been meaning to start one as a memorandum of my daughter's life ever since she was born but procrastination always got the better of me. However, one cannot assume that it is easy to be a mother based on this. Most of my time is consumed taking care of the baby: feeding, changing diapers, soothing a crying machine, more feeding, more diapers, more crying and the list goes on. It can be very tiring indeed so I really cannot be blamed if I do steal a bit of shut eyes when I actually get a break from being the slave of my baby, right?
I wanted to write about how I think my baby is beginning to notice things around her but I'll save this for another day because there's a more pressing problem in my life now and that is nothing but the dreadful word INSURANCE. The current society has evolved to a point such that you are weird if you don't have an insurance policy yourself. Which means, it is imperative that one gets an insurance for oneself, if one has the brain to think. By such standards, I am weird and inadequately prepared for life because as of now, I do not have any decent insurance policy. However, the subject of insurance that landed me in a big fiasco was actually brought up because of my little baby. In a bid to make sure we have money to send her to university if she can make it, Desmond (my husband) bought an endowment plan, hoping to save some money and even better still, earn some money out of the policy. He also mentioned something about life insurance a couple of days later but I did not take it to heart since I was skeptical about life insurance. However, a week or 2 later, a financial planner friend of mine came over to visit and we started talking about insurance for the baby. If I didn't remember wrongly, my friend said it was a waste of money to start buying life insurance for the baby at such a young age as the rate of motility is very low, but his company, which is HSBC, offers a hybrid plan called Child Enrich combining endowment and life insurance if I really want to give a life insurance plan to my baby. Beats buying just a life insurance plan. (BTW, they have a similar plan for adults too, which is Life Enrich.)
At first, it really didn't sound like a bad idea to have some sort of hybrid plan for my baby. I mean, who doesn't like 2-in-1? 2-in-1 = express, less hassle, 2 for the price of 1, sounds great right? Except this time, 2-in-1 sounds too good to be true and Desmond's insurance agent decides to prove the point. Loads of comparisons were made between various plans from Prudential and HSBC's Child Enrich - which do we pay lesser premium, which has higher returns, what is the payment duration, what component of the returns is guaranteed and otherwise etc. I must say I have never read insurance policies in such detail before and have never ever asked so many questions before, which leads me to wonder: why haven't I?
Most humans are such that they want the easy way out and they simply look at the sum with the nice 5.75% projected non-guaranteed return at the end of the day, failing to understand what price that 5.75% comes with. What is the guaranteed amount at the end of the day if the non-guaranteed sum is high? What is the surrender value etc? Are all the riders, which is so-called to protect the policy, really needed? I have never questioned myself these before when I bought endowment plans the last time, which made me realised how stupid I was. I thought I was doing the right thing simply by buying a policy, not knowing exactly what the policy entails. The same thing goes for Desmond too. He has a policy that insures peanuts, and paid tons for a load of riders which I don't think is necessary, but he got it anyway. When I asked him why on earth he got the policy, the answer was, 'I didn't know what that guy was talking about.' That is such a good answer, isn't it?
So, what was the problem? It isn't that we can't calculate. All the calculation has been done for us on the Benefits Illustration. We can think, it isn't as if we are 2-month olds. The only conclusion I can come to is this: we most probably haven't been listening.
A Communication process is as follows:
Message ------> Decoding ------> Encoding by receiver -------> Message received
Errors are most likely to occur at the point of decoding and encoding, which is why, “To be attentive means to listen without any interpretation, without any judgment — just to listen. When you are so listening there is no boundary" But it is human nature to judge. We jump to judge whenever something is being told to us. E.g. in the case of insurance, we want to be able to quickly come to conclusion that we will make money so once we see the 'returns' portion, our minds are shut to the terms and conditions that comes with it. Also, we tend to hear only what we want to hear so interpretation of a message is skewed with reference to our mindset. If we look at insurance/endowment plans with the intention to make money (and has heard from someone briefly that insurance is a good way to make money), it's only natural that we jump at the opportunity if the agent says it's likely to make money. We won't even question that likelihood of making money.
It is only too late when we realised we missed the word 'likely' when the agent said 'it was likely to make money' and have no one but ourselves to blame when there is no profit but loss.
So, how do one make sure the right policy is purchased for oneself?
I think there are no complicated formulas and calculations, except to listen attentively.
I wanted to write about how I think my baby is beginning to notice things around her but I'll save this for another day because there's a more pressing problem in my life now and that is nothing but the dreadful word INSURANCE. The current society has evolved to a point such that you are weird if you don't have an insurance policy yourself. Which means, it is imperative that one gets an insurance for oneself, if one has the brain to think. By such standards, I am weird and inadequately prepared for life because as of now, I do not have any decent insurance policy. However, the subject of insurance that landed me in a big fiasco was actually brought up because of my little baby. In a bid to make sure we have money to send her to university if she can make it, Desmond (my husband) bought an endowment plan, hoping to save some money and even better still, earn some money out of the policy. He also mentioned something about life insurance a couple of days later but I did not take it to heart since I was skeptical about life insurance. However, a week or 2 later, a financial planner friend of mine came over to visit and we started talking about insurance for the baby. If I didn't remember wrongly, my friend said it was a waste of money to start buying life insurance for the baby at such a young age as the rate of motility is very low, but his company, which is HSBC, offers a hybrid plan called Child Enrich combining endowment and life insurance if I really want to give a life insurance plan to my baby. Beats buying just a life insurance plan. (BTW, they have a similar plan for adults too, which is Life Enrich.)
At first, it really didn't sound like a bad idea to have some sort of hybrid plan for my baby. I mean, who doesn't like 2-in-1? 2-in-1 = express, less hassle, 2 for the price of 1, sounds great right? Except this time, 2-in-1 sounds too good to be true and Desmond's insurance agent decides to prove the point. Loads of comparisons were made between various plans from Prudential and HSBC's Child Enrich - which do we pay lesser premium, which has higher returns, what is the payment duration, what component of the returns is guaranteed and otherwise etc. I must say I have never read insurance policies in such detail before and have never ever asked so many questions before, which leads me to wonder: why haven't I?
Most humans are such that they want the easy way out and they simply look at the sum with the nice 5.75% projected non-guaranteed return at the end of the day, failing to understand what price that 5.75% comes with. What is the guaranteed amount at the end of the day if the non-guaranteed sum is high? What is the surrender value etc? Are all the riders, which is so-called to protect the policy, really needed? I have never questioned myself these before when I bought endowment plans the last time, which made me realised how stupid I was. I thought I was doing the right thing simply by buying a policy, not knowing exactly what the policy entails. The same thing goes for Desmond too. He has a policy that insures peanuts, and paid tons for a load of riders which I don't think is necessary, but he got it anyway. When I asked him why on earth he got the policy, the answer was, 'I didn't know what that guy was talking about.' That is such a good answer, isn't it?
So, what was the problem? It isn't that we can't calculate. All the calculation has been done for us on the Benefits Illustration. We can think, it isn't as if we are 2-month olds. The only conclusion I can come to is this: we most probably haven't been listening.
A Communication process is as follows:
Message ------> Decoding ------> Encoding by receiver -------> Message received
Errors are most likely to occur at the point of decoding and encoding, which is why, “To be attentive means to listen without any interpretation, without any judgment — just to listen. When you are so listening there is no boundary" But it is human nature to judge. We jump to judge whenever something is being told to us. E.g. in the case of insurance, we want to be able to quickly come to conclusion that we will make money so once we see the 'returns' portion, our minds are shut to the terms and conditions that comes with it. Also, we tend to hear only what we want to hear so interpretation of a message is skewed with reference to our mindset. If we look at insurance/endowment plans with the intention to make money (and has heard from someone briefly that insurance is a good way to make money), it's only natural that we jump at the opportunity if the agent says it's likely to make money. We won't even question that likelihood of making money.
It is only too late when we realised we missed the word 'likely' when the agent said 'it was likely to make money' and have no one but ourselves to blame when there is no profit but loss.
So, how do one make sure the right policy is purchased for oneself?
I think there are no complicated formulas and calculations, except to listen attentively.
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